A Wish for All of the Difficult People in Your Life

Funny Answering Machines

• Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call even sooner!
• Hi! This is Jim. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
• My lover and I can't come to the phone right now but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
• Hello! You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need a magazine subscription, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are already clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their pictures taken. If you're still listening, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
• Hi! I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message and if I don't call back, it's you.
• Hello! You've reached Jim and Cathy. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Cathy likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right, real slowly. So leave a message and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you."
• Surprisingly, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.

What would your answering machine be like???

Americans! Americans!!